Okay - so I'm way behind this week. Easter and planning a vacation have taken over my life. That and I find that I'm way less productive when I'm not working part-time. I go into the, "Oh, I'm home tomorrow I can do it then" mode.
Anyway...so I just finished up chapter 6 and figured I should post my comments soon and then dive into chapter 7.
I feel that the most important point made by the authors during this chapter is the fact that in order to have a good relationship with their sons mothers need to know when to step in, step back, and sway. A sort of dance if you will - mothers need to be able to find a nice balance and know when to let their sons go off on their own - and hopefully the sons will know they can always come back to their mothers.
Quotes from the chapter that struck me:
"Certainly, there comes a point in his young life when a boy must shift his central attachment from his mother to his father and begin to identify himself as a man-on-the-making. However, there is no point - not at age four, or nine, or thirteen, when a boy must "give up" his mother, or when a mother must "give up" her son."
Amen to that.
"Every mother of a boy faces the task of trying to understand aspects of boy life and boy thought that she cannot experience: Why can't boys sit still? Why do they bite their toast into gun and dagger shapes? Why don't they think more often about the consequences of an action before they do it?"
Goodness. That whole thing about why do they bite their toast into gun shapes...I swear a boy can turn anything into a gun, or some type of weapon. And then the shooting noises come. Why or why do they have to make shooting noises?
The authors were discussing the different types of mothering that they can observe at the park (I'm pretty much the one sitting attentively and watching from a distance) - and they say this about all the different types of mothering, "Most of these mothers are motivated by the same desire to see their boys grow up to be happy, successful men. There is no one right way to be a mother..."
Yeah, yeah, we all want happy successful sons, but come on, tell us what Is The Right Way???
Off to read Chapter 7 - or yeah - maybe do some more research for vacation. =)
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1 comments:
I feel the same way as I'm reading - tell us what to do and which way is the right way! I think consistency and communication are the keys to success. Create and maintain an environment that is supportive and accessible for your children.
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